Thoughts about life and ways to approach it First some basic concepts: * Dreams * perfect-world everything-happy future * probably not 100% realistic * Hopes * near-perfect-world fairly-happy future * typically less reaching than dreams but probably more realistic * Objectives * semi-realistic future with semi-concrete goals and benefits * Plans * rough path of events/choices by which Objectives can be reached * also good to plan for alternative outcomes and ways to work with or around those imperfect events And some general concepts from which to build: * Expectations * what do you expect of your SELF? * why do you expect those things and are they realistic? * short-term vs long-term expectations? * what do you expect of others? * why do you expect those things and are they realistic? * short-term vs long-term expectations? * what do you need from others? * what do you want from others? * what do others expect of you? * why do they have these expectations? * SHOULD they have these expectations? * Assets * good things/resources that work to your advantage * knowledge * youth * health * experience/wisdom * friends * family * results may vary * Debts/Debits * challenges or obligations that must be addressed at some point * Trust * who do you trust and why? * how much do you trust them? * do you re-evaluate that trust periodically? * is that trust recipricated? * do they trust you as much as you trust them? * if not why not? * Respect * respect yourself and expect others to show you respect * avoid those who don't respect you * Gratitude * acknowledge those that help you and be sure they know you are grateful for what they have done * it's not necessary to thank everyone for everything * the bigger the benefit the more the gratitude * gratitude, like memory, has a shelf-life * unresolved gratitude can often lead to resentment * recognize the advantages that others' help has provided to you * think about how your life would be different (better or worse) without the contributions of others * if their contributions have made things worse overall consider reducing that relationship * Dependencies * rooted in wants and needs that are met externally * friends * quality is MUCH more important than quantity * prune those that add no value to the relationship * family * typically stronger yet less appreciated relationships * hopefully like friends but with fewer options * you don't get to pick them but you don't have to keep them all either * money * if you can't be self-sustaining this is a necessary dependency * how to make it * paid work is the most common way to make money * how to save it * bank accounts are like sealed buckets * you get out what you put in but it doesn't increase and it shouldn't leak * easy to get to but doesn't really grow * investments are like open buckets outside * can leak but also can grow (depending on the rain and where the bucket is located) * harder to get money out * how to spend it * how not to waste it * start with NEED vs WANT * if it's just a WANT consider if it's worth the impact * if you can't cover your NEEDs then... * drugs; medical, recreational, and everything in between * what are the costs? * money * negative side-effects * impacts to health * impacts to relationships * impacts to opportunities * Fairness * mostly a subjective concept and limited mostly to children * fairness as an adult is less expected and harder to achieve * easier is to advocate for yourself in all things * Fault * the older you get the more you recognize that many "random" things are your fault * as a parent all things seem, in some way, your fault * it is easier to take fault than to accept credit * never accept credit for something done by another * always share credit with a group if you can * Relationships * what is your relationship with yourself? * evaluate what you like in yourself * do you respect those things? * do you reflect those things? * relationships with others * do others recognize and respect those aspects you like best in yourself? * do you recognize the aspects, both good and bad, in others? * are there negative aspects in others that you choose to ignore? * why and is that something you can maintain long-term? Putting things somewhat together: * there is a big difference between NEED and WANT * you WANT what you NEED but you don't NEED everything you WANT * always address what you NEED first * everyone changes over time * this also means all relationships change over time * the best relationships are those were the people involved change in compatible ways * be careful and deliberate in who you trust * periodically reevaluate that trust because everyone changes over time * recognize and respect your good aspects * find people who recognize and respect those aspects too * recognize your bad aspects * evaluate if you want to change those aspects * not all bad aspects can be changed (probably)