Ron's Brain Dump

Thoughts about life and ways to approach it

First some basic concepts:

• Dreams
  • perfect-world everything-happy future
  • probably not 100% realistic
• Hopes
  • near-perfect-world fairly-happy future
  • typically less reaching than dreams but probably more realistic
• Objectives
  • semi-realistic future with semi-concrete goals and benefits
• Plans
  • rough path of events/choices by which Objectives can be reached
  • also good to plan for alternative outcomes and ways to work with or around those imperfect events

And some general concepts from which to build:

• Expectations
  • what do you expect of your SELF?
    • why do you expect those things and are they realistic?
    • short-term vs long-term expectations?
  • what do you expect of others?
    • why do you expect those things and are they realistic?
    • short-term vs long-term expectations?
    • what do you need from others?
    • what do you want from others?
  • what do others expect of you?
    • why do they have these expectations?
    • SHOULD they have these expectations?
• Assets
  • good things/resources that work to your advantage
    • knowledge
    • youth
    • health
    • experience/wisdom
    • friends
    • family
      • results may vary
• Debts/Debits
  • challenges or obligations that must be addressed at some point
• Trust
  • who do you trust and why?
  • how much do you trust them?
  • do you re-evaluate that trust periodically?
  • is that trust recipricated?
    • do they trust you as much as you trust them?
    • if not why not?
• Respect
  • respect yourself and expect others to show you respect
  • avoid those who don't respect you
• Gratitude
  • acknowledge those that help you and be sure they know you are grateful for what they have done
  • it's not necessary to thank everyone for everything
    • the bigger the benefit the more the gratitude
    • gratitude, like memory, has a shelf-life
    • unresolved gratitude can often lead to resentment
  • recognize the advantages that others' help has provided to you
    • think about how your life would be different (better or worse) without the contributions of others
    • if their contributions have made things worse overall consider reducing that relationship
• Dependencies
  • rooted in wants and needs that are met externally
  • friends
    • quality is MUCH more important than quantity
    • prune those that add no value to the relationship
  • family
    • typically stronger yet less appreciated relationships
    • hopefully like friends but with fewer options
      • you don't get to pick them but you don't have to keep them all either
  • money
    • if you can't be self-sustaining this is a necessary dependency
    • how to make it
      • paid work is the most common way to make money
    • how to save it
      • bank accounts are like sealed buckets
        • you get out what you put in but it doesn't increase and it shouldn't leak
        • easy to get to but doesn't really grow
      • investments are like open buckets outside
        • can leak but also can grow (depending on the rain and where the bucket is located)
        • harder to get money out
    • how to spend it
      • how not to waste it
        • start with NEED vs WANT
          • if it's just a WANT consider if it's worth the impact
          • if you can't cover your NEEDs then…
  • drugs; medical, recreational, and everything in between
    • what are the costs?
      • money
      • negative side-effects
        • impacts to health
        • impacts to relationships
        • impacts to opportunities
• Fairness
  • mostly a subjective concept and limited mostly to children
  • fairness as an adult is less expected and harder to achieve
    • easier is to advocate for yourself in all things
• Fault
  • the older you get the more you recognize that many “random” things are your fault
  • as a parent all things seem, in some way, your fault
  • it is easier to take fault than to accept credit
  • never accept credit for something done by another
  • always share credit with a group if you can
• Relationships
  • what is your relationship with yourself?
    • evaluate what you like in yourself
    • do you respect those things?
    • do you reflect those things?
  • relationships with others
    • do others recognize and respect those aspects you like best in yourself?
    • do you recognize the aspects, both good and bad, in others?
    • are there negative aspects in others that you choose to ignore?
      • why and is that something you can maintain long-term?

Putting things somewhat together:

• there is a big difference between NEED and WANT
  • you WANT what you NEED but you don't NEED everything you WANT
  • always address what you NEED first
• everyone changes over time
  • this also means all relationships change over time
  • the best relationships are those were the people involved change in compatible ways
• be careful and deliberate in who you trust
  • periodically reevaluate that trust because everyone changes over time
• recognize and respect your good aspects
  • find people who recognize and respect those aspects too
• recognize your bad aspects
  • evaluate if you want to change those aspects
    • not all bad aspects can be changed (probably)