Ron's Brain Dump

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Thoughts about life and ways to approach it

First some basic concepts:

• Dreams
  • perfect-world everything-happy future
  • probably not 100% realistic
• Hopes
  • near-perfect-world fairly-happy future
  • typically less reaching than dreams but probably more realistic
• Objectives
  • semi-realistic future with semi-concrete goals and benefits
• Plans
  • rough path of events/choices by which Objectives can be reached
  • also good to plan for alternative outcomes and ways to work with or around those imperfect events

And some general concepts from which to build:

• Expectations
  • what do you expect of your SELF?
  • what do you expect of others?
  • what do others expect of you?
    • why do they have these expectations?
    • SHOULD they have these expectations?
• Assets
  • good things/resources that work to your advantage
    • knowledge
    • youth
    • health
    • friends
    • family
• Debts/Debits
  • challenges or obligations that must be addressed at some point
• Trust
  • who do you trust and why?
  • how much do you trust them?
  • do you re-evaluate that trust periodically?
  • is that trust recipricated?
    • do they trust you as much as you trust them?
    • if not why not?
• Expectations
  • what are your expectations of others?
  • what do you need from others?
  • what do you want from others?
• Respect
  • respect yourself and expect others to show you respect
  • avoid those who don't respect you
• Gratitude
  • acknowledge those that help you and be sure they know you are grateful for what they have done
  • it's not necessary to thank everyone for everything
    • the bigger the benefit the more the gratitude
    • gratitude, like memory, has a shelf-life
    • unresolved gratitude can often lead to resentment
  • recognize the advantages that others' help has provided to you
    • think about how your life would be different (better or worse) without the contributions of others
    • if their contributions have made things worse overall consider reducing that relationship
• Expectations
  • what do you expect of others and is that realistic?
  • short-term expectations vs long-term expectations
  • what do others (individually) expect of you and why?
    • and are those expectations realistic/fair?
• Fairness
  • mostly a subjective concept and limited mostly to children
  • fairness as an adult is less expected and harder to achieve
    • easier is to advocate for yourself in all things
• Fault
  • the older you get the more you recognize that many “random” things are your fault
  • as a parent all things seem, in some way, your fault
  • it is easier to take fault than to accept credit
  • never accept credit for something done by another
  • always share credit with a group if you can

Putting things somewhat together:

• there is a big difference between NEED and WANT
  • you WANT what you NEED but you don't NEED everything you WANT
  • always address what you NEED first
• everyone changes over time
  • this also means all relationships change over time
  • the best relationships are those were the people involved change in compatible ways
• be careful and deliberate in who you trust
• periodically reevaluate that trust because everyone changes over time